50+ Books, Six Flags, 2 Kids, and a Pooped out Dad

The local amusement park has devised quite the strategy here. Each year, school children can earn a "free" ticket to the park by completing and documenting a certain number of hours spent reading throughout the school year. For the second summer in a row I have now made this trip with my older two children both of which are voracious readers that would qualify for several tickets if multiple were allowed. Their "free" tickets ultimately translate into roughly $30 for my ticket, $15 for parking, $20 for Lunch, $10 for games, $5 for snacks, and another $15 for dinner... almost $100 bucks because my wife had to go and teach my children how to read! And I thought the Leap-pad was a good investment!

Going to an amusement park with two kids just barely tall enough for the tamest of the rides is not as boring as it may sound. First of all, in 95 degrees and 90% humidity those water rides are FAR better than the hour wait followed by 30 seconds of exhilaration that "Goliath" may provide. Secondly, as a dad the true thrill comes from the enjoyment of your children, not your own exhilaration. Last year I convinced my kids to go on "The Great American Scream Machine" (not nearly as bad as the name implies as 42" kids can ride it) but at the end of the ride they were both in tears and made me promise this year that we would go nowhere near that ride. The day will come when they enjoy that, until then I have learned that a 6 yr old girl riding shotgun in your bumper car yelling out "Go RAM that old lady" is priceless! Lastly, I don't know if I should admit this, I am DEAD tired two days later. Every muscle in my body is aching and we just went on the "family" rides. I can't imagine how I would be feeling if I had tried to tackle "The Scorcher", "Superman", "Ninja", "Deja vu", "Goliath", "Cyclone", "Mind Bender", and the handful of other rides that had height limits taller than my little munchkins! For now I will stay by my story that it must have been the heat and dehydration that is causing me to feel like the pinata, instead of the stick.

As for future trips, maybe I need to burn my kids library! Jamie, please don't teach the younger two to read, please don't make them do their homework, and please conficate any library book they try to smuggle into the house! They say that illiteracy makes life difficult and painful, I am here to tell you that literacy is expensive and DEADLY!