Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Never Mock a Prophet

While preparing my Sunday School lesson on Saturday I came across a little story that I swear I have never read before! Of all the miracles that Elisha performed, how this one is relegated to relative obscurity is a shame. I mean, multiplying the oil, floating the ax head, and healing Naaman's leprosy only to pass it to his own greedy servant are all great stories but this one is far better!

Just after the mantle of Elijah had been passed to Elisha, Elisha was leaving town. A group of kids followed him out of town and began to mock him. Using one of the oldest and most effective jabs ever employed, they made fun of his follicly challenged scalp. "Hey baldy, what happened? Elijah's chariot of fire get to close and burn off all your hair?" Apparently Elisha was as sensitive to his baldness as modern men. The key difference is, Elisha had the authority to deal with the issue... he promtly cursed them and two she bears came out of the forest and "tare forty and two children". Now I'm not sure what kind of verb "tare" is but I am assuming it is along the lines of weeding out the trouble-makers and not a pleasurable experience! If Elisha could just bottle that bald treatment it would outsell Karl Malone's Rogaine or Ronco's Hair Spray Paint every day of the week!

In conclusion, to my twin brother, (who is as bald as Gandhi while I got the follicle gene) forgive me, if you ever become the prophet your tender mercies would be appreciated, and as always, shine on bro, shine on...

3 comments:

Jamie said...

LOL! Does Home Depot sell lightning rods?

Kristine said...

I take it that mocking your brother allows a little less serious penalty than that Elisha bestowed! One day, the follicles upon your head will cease to do their job...and the mocking will then truly begin!

Papa J said...

You know I have often said that when genetic research finally get's useful and allows for brothers to donate a hair growing gene that I would gladly have some of yours; however, I have just written you off of the list. It now will have to come from Ollie.